You define who you are in every moment.
You can see yourself as big or small, smart or dumb, worthy or unworthy, winner
or loser. Sometimes self-definitions are benign, even humorous. For example:
- In an Australian study, 86 percent of
workers said their performance was above average. 1 percent said below
average
- 80 percent of U.S. drivers surveyed rated their driving as
better than average
- 85 percent of people rated their own manners as good or
excellent. Only 23 percent give the same marks to others
- 94 percent of university professors ranked themselves
better than average at their jobs
- 25 percent of high school students rated themselves in
the top 1 percent in leadership ability.
- 87 percent of Americans surveyed said they expected to
go to heaven. In the same survey, only 79 percent said Mother Teresa would go to
heaven.
Other times you may define yourself and your
options in counterproductive ways.
Examples of common self-defeating thoughts:
- I must never quit
- I must be successful
- I can't let anybody beat me
- I can't be alone
- I am not competent
- I must be different from others
- I must be like others
- I cannot survive arguments or disagreements
- I can't be happy when others close to me are not
- I cannot break the rules
- I cannot tell a lie
- I cannot get caught in a lie
- I cannot be bored
- I cannot openly ask for what I want
Identify
"Inner Characters" that Foster Self-Defeating Thoughts
Find the
Authentic You
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Living Your Best Life
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